Showing posts with label Self-help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-help. Show all posts

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Today We are Rich by Tim Sanders

Harnessing the Power of Total Confidence
Are you just hanging in there? 
Have life’s curveballs thrown you off balance? 
Do you feel as if your life is going sideways?

Best-selling author, leadership coach, and former Yahoo! executive Tim Sanders knows how you feel. 

His father’s unexpected death put him in a downward spiral for fifteen years—what he calls his “sideways years.” 
A photo of a dusty water tower in Texas finally woke him up in 1996. 
That’s when he realized he needed to go home to his rock—his grandmother Billye, who had taken him in as a child to raise as her own.

Rediscovering the lessons she taught him as a child turned his life around and, in less than four years, catapulted him to financial security and an officer-level role at an S&P 500 company at the center of the Internet revolution. 
Today, his promise to himself is, “I will never forget those lessons. The price is too high.” 
Join Tim as he rediscovers the classic principles of confident living that some of the most successful and joyful people you know live by:

1 – Feed Your Mind Good Stuff
2 – Move the Conversation Forward
3 – Exercise Your Gratitude Muscle
4 – Give to Be Rich
5 – Prepare Yourself
6 – Balance Your Confidence
7 – Promise Made, Promise Kept

In Today We Are Rich, Sanders updates Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, and Dr. Norman Vincent Peale to tackle a new world, where social media and transparency present unique challenges to our sense of confidence, sanity, and faith.

[Source: www.goodreads.com ]


Goodreads Rating - 4.04 out of 5 (453 Ratings; 70 Reviews)

My Comments:
Principles of confident living described in this book are what we call as common sense (but which is actually not so commonly seen). 
Book is rather autobiographical in nature mainly extolling author's grandma who lived by these principles. 
Nice and quick read but you won't miss anything exceptional even if you don't read it.


Links:

Buying Options 

Readers in India

 

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Readers in Other Countries 
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Buy the Kindlle book  version
(Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones and tablets.) 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Brilliant Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by Dr. Stephen Briers

Book Description (as in Amazon.com
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Brilliant  Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)  has been specially written to help give readers the insight, tools and confidence they need to understand and use CBT in their own lives.
It offers a cohesive approach to this groundbreaking therapeutic technique that unfolds in a wholly logical, accessible and practical manner whilst enabling the reader to personalize the information and apply it to their own unique situation. 
Written by an experienced and highly regarded clinical psychologist (Dr. Stephen Briers), Brilliant CBT has a conversational, accessible and personal tone which includes illustrative exercises, personality-style questionnaires and detailed checklists to provide all the information readers will need in a way they will find most simple and useful to put into practice.
 Brilliant CBT is the perfect guide for anybody who wants an effective grounding in the theory and range of practical tips and strategies designed to help them achieve authentic, lasting results when applying CBT to their own lives, or for anybody training to become a CBT practioner who wants an accessible, understandable and thorough introduction to the therapy.
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Table of Contents
1 So what’s so brilliant about CBT?
2 First principles
3 Common thinking traps – and how to avoid them
4 Grappling with negative thinking
5 Using behaviour to change your mind
6 Mapping out your problems
7 Beating the blues
8 Conquering anxiety
9 Taming anger
10 Boosting self-esteem 
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Goodreads Rating - 3.44 out of 5 ( 16 Ratings)

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My Comments
A fairly decent introduction to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

The book suggests some doable action items unlike some other personality development books which tell us to do somewhat impractical things. 
 
 ( Anybody can read Kindle books—even without a Kindle device—with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones/ tablets/PCs.) 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

How to be More Interesting


[Author: Edward de Bono Publisher: Penguin Books , Paperback:  304 pages ]
In this book, the author Edward de Bono the originator of lateral thinking methods, provides guidance on developing oneself into an interesting person. And this transformation does not  necessarily mean being a  celebrity or performing outstanding feats or having an unusual experience or holding an interesting job. 
According to de Bono what make you an interesting person depends upon - what happens in your mind; how you express what happens in your mind; what impression you create in the mind of a listener. 
Being interesting is a skill which can be developed. Hence this book is a workbook consisting of 70 short  and simple exercises intended to help you develop this skill. These are exercises to train your mind to think and express yourself in an interesting manner.
de Bono strongly encourages you to do these exercises to get full benefit from the book. He also cautions that book should not be read like a novel in a hurried manner. Instead it should be read through slowly, agreeing or disagreeing with the points made by him based on your own experiences.
Well I did implement de Bono advice to some extent but I doubt whether this book has turned me into a more interesting person. Maybe you can try yourself and see whether this book works for you.
Just an OK sort of book, authored by a person who has written path-breaking bestsellers like "Lateral Thinking" and "Six Thinking Hats". I was rather disappointed since I had high expectations from it.

Overview of Topics
 
Apart from the Introduction and Summary , there are three main sections in this book. A brief overview of  topics discussed in these sections are as follows. Each of these topics has several exercises associated with it.

The Basic Operations of Interest : 
  • Possibility : Opening up and exploring possibilities in mind. Going beyond what is in front of you. The role of hypothesis and speculation.
  • Alternatives: The deliberate generation of alternatives. Alternatives of explanation, action, ways of looking at things, etc. The importance of the 'fixed point'.
  • Concepts: The fundamental importance of concepts to all thinking. Concept extraction as a source of interest.
  • Run Forward in the Mind: Visualization, imagination and projection. Looking ahead, moment to moment, to see what follows and what happens next. Exploring forward in time.
  • Connect and Link Up: The effort to make connections and to link up different matters. Skill at connecting things enlarges the field of interest. We are no longer limited to the immediate matters.
  • Provocation: With provocation there may not be reason for saying something until after it has been said. Provocation are the basis of creativity. Provocations open up new lines of thought.
  • Attention-directing: Where do we direct our attention? Why do we direct attention? Attention either flows on or is directed. Directing attention creates the dance of attention that is central to interest.
  • Alleys, Avenues and Themes: We choose to open up and to pursue avenues and alleys of interest. How do we notice them? Why do we choose them? Themes are very broad areas of attention.
  • Clarify, List and Summarize: The need to express things simply and to communicate them well. The use of analogies and metaphors. The value of lists in clarifying, thinking and providing attention points.
The Drivers of Interest
  • Feelings: Feelings provide the fuel for interest. There is a whole range of human feelings. They are there to be enjoyed. Interest seeks to  draw in those feelings.
  •  Relevance: Relevance to yourself. Relevance to other people. Relevance to human nature and so on to individuals. Relevance is a key part of interest. Something becomes interesting as soon as it can be made relevant.
  • Human Interest: There are a number of basic 'human-interest' drivers: sex, money, scandal, categories, etc. People are interested in people and people's behavior.
  • Emotions: These are strong emotions. What is their place in 'interest'? Do they help with interest or do they interfere with interest? Emotions may be simple or mixed.
  • Humenes: This is a new word to cover that aspect of interest that derives from physiological behavior in the mind: humor, insight, surprise, etc. This is a powerful form of interest but need not involve either relevance or feelings.
  • Fascination: A powerful form of interest. The interest that is aroused by wildlife television programs. Something may be fascinating in itself. The importance of curiosity.
  • Knowledge and Stories: The content part of interest. Information and experiences. First-hand or second-hand stories. The ingredients of interest as distinct from the operations.
Interaction
  • Discussion: Discussion and conversation. Interacting with other people. The use of basic 'interest operations' to increase the interest of a discussion.
  • Agreement: The value and use of agreement. Ways of agreeing. Developing and building on ideas. Full agreement and partial agreement.
  • Disagreement: The dangers of negativity. The ego-driven sources of disagreement. The fundamental flaw in Western thinking. The benefits of parallel thinking. The Six Hats framework for discussion. Designing a way forward.
  • Bores and Boring: Why is someone is boring? Jumps and changes in conversation. The use and dangers of interruption. Diversions.


Links 
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Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Professional - Defining the New Standard of Excellence at Work

Author:         Subroto Bagchi 
Published:   2011
Publisher:    Penguin Books India
Hardcover:  256 pages
 
Who is a true professional ? 
The author a well known business leader in Indian IT industry, redefines "professionalism" in this book. 

 A book which every professional should read and benchmark themselves against the yardstick laid out by Subroto Bagchi. 

Read more about this book in my professional blog.

Goodreads Rating : 3.86 out of 5 (14 ratings)


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Flip It - How to Get the Best Out of Everything

Author:       Michael Heppell
Published:  2012
Publisher:   Pearson Education Ltd.
Hardcover:  176 pages


In this book the author offers his approach for thinking and taking actions that lead to higher levels of happiness, confidence, creativity and success. He calls this approach  "Flip It".  
Nothing new about it. Flip It  approach is just another way of looking at things from a  positive and optimistic perspective (Reframing) . 
 The book describes how to apply Flip It thinking in different situations - while interacting with friends, spouses, partners, family; at work; in business etc.
The narrative is supported by ample illustrations,anecdotes and techniques.
 Some of the techniques I liked are :
Friends Grid: Classifying the friends we have in four categories - Poor Me, Grower, Sapper and Groupie depending on how positive/negative and giving/taking they are so that we can choose to spend maximum time with the Growers and avoid the Sappers.
Rock to Resolution : Breaking down a big problem into small chunks; identifying solutions for each of these chunks; and visualizing how the outcome will look if all the solutions were in place.
Link Words: An idea generation technique - picking a random word and forming a network of words linked to this word; then choosing a couple of words from the network at random and develop a link between them.
The book is written in a conversational manner with a sense of humor and is a good  light reading material. But it does not have an USP which can clearly differentiate it from other self-help books in the market,

Table of Contents:

  1. Finding Flip It
  2. Flip It for confidence and happiness
  3. Flip It for friends, love and family
  4. Flip It for health
  5. Flip It for money
  6. Flip It for success
  7. Flip It for creativity
  8. Flip It at work and in business
  9. Flip It for your fantastic future

10. Flip It when you’re having ‘one of those days
11. Flip It for everything else

Links:

[Please feel free to leave your comments below or bookmark/share this summary]


Saturday, January 26, 2013

Stories We Need to Know


Author:          Allan G. Hunter
Published:    2008
Publisher:     Findhorn Press
Paperback: 240 pages

There are many people who suffer from soul starvation at some point of time in their lives. Soul starvation is a continuous feeling of boredom, discontentment and a sense of disengagement from the world.  
According to the author the remedy to overcome this malaise lies in reading and benefiting from the wisdom embedded in our literature - folk tales, stories,myths, legends.
 
These literature through their characters,  suggest that as we go through our lives each one of us can expect to come across six distinct stages of personal development, which always occur in the same order. Each stage needs to be well understood to achieve peace of mind. 
 
The six stages along with their main attributes are:
  1. Innocent - defenseless, undefending, trusting, accepting, loving and feeling loved
  2. Orphan - sense of abandonment, looking for someone to take care of us, or someone to identify with
  3. Pilgrim - trying to find out what one's capabilities are
  4. Warrior-Lover - passionate commitments to one's own interests,values, family, etc. and fighting to sustain them.
  5. Monarch Pair (the King and Queen) - serving and protecting something larger than one's immediate turf with a balanced mix of pride and humility; toughness and softness.
  6. Magician - making things happen while seeming not to do anything much at all
 
In this book the author discusses how each one of us can embark on our own journey through these six stages and what are the pitfalls to watch out for as we do so.
To support his discussion, he explains the archetypes of each of these stages drawing examples from three thousand years of Western literature.
 
Just to cite a few of those - 
  • The Odyssey, The Illiad - Homer
  • Oedipus Rex, Oedipus at Colonus - Sophocles
  • Oresrteia - Aeschylus
  • The Bible
  • Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
  • Plays of  William Shakespeare
  • Dr.Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
  • Novels of Charles Dickens
  • Books in the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowlings
The book is structured systematically and  well written in a manner which fairly easy to understand. But it may not appeal to those who are on the lookout for a conventional self-help book or to those who are not much interested in English Literature.

It was an  interesting read for me nevertheless !

[Please feel free to leave your comments below or bookmark/share this summary]


Monday, June 18, 2012

NLP for Rookies

Authors:       Becky Mallery and Katherine Russell 
Published:    2009
Publisher:     Marshall Cavendish Ltd. 
Paperback: 192 pages

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is a method for understanding and influencing the human mind. NLP can be a very useful tool for getting buy-in for one's ideas and for ensuring desired actions from the people one interacts with. 
Browse through this book if you quickly want the bare minimum facts about NLP.
Read the  extended summary of this book in my business blog.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Letters to Sam


Author:       Daniel Gottlieb
Published:   2008
Paperback: 176 pages

There is a saying, "If life gives you a lemon make lemonade out of it".
This very well applies to Daniel Gottlieb, the author of this book who is a psychologist. At a young age of thirty three, an accident made him quadriplegic and confined to a wheel chair for life. But in spite of this debilitating disability, he tried hard and developed a tremendous mental strength which enabled him to develop his career as a successful psychologist over the last thirty years. He has counseled and helped people to deal with their mental agony through his consulting sessions, articles and books and also as a talk show host.
In this book he shares his perspectives on life as observed from his wheelchair .He says his clients, his talk show audience and the readers of his articles have taught him "a great deal about courage, longing, and what it means to be human'. And these perspectives and the lessons he learnt  he wants to pass on to his grandson Sam who suffers from an autistic disorder. Each of the thirty odd chapters in this book  is in form of a letter to Sam. They are lessons on - perfection, kindness, love, compassion, frustrations, desires, justice, happiness, peace, loss, gifts of life, death etc. All these letter try and answer the question "What it means to be human?".

There is another saying - "The best things in life come in small packages".
This slim pocket-sized book is definitely one of the best books I have read this year. Chapters are short, simple and touches your heart.
In a very reassuring manner it motivates the readers to accept the reality of their suffering and effectively deal with it.
A must-read for everyone especially for long suffering patients and their caregivers !

Look forward to reading its sequel "The Wisdom of Sam".

P.S. While reading this book I was reminded of  Hrithik Roshan's character in the Hindi film "Guzaarish". It has Hrithik  Roshan playing a quadriplegic who as a Radio Jockey spreads hope and laughter among his listeners. May be this character was partly based on Daniel Gottlieb who hosts a very popular talk show "Voices in the Family".

Links:
  1. Daniel Gottlieb's Website
  2. Excerpts from the book : Two chapters - Lap Time & Give Kindness a Chance
[Please feel free to leave your comments below or bookmark/share this summary]

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Inspiration - Your Ultimate Calling

Author: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Published: 2006
Publisher: Hay House India
More than 25 years ago the books - Your Erroneous Zones and Pulling Your Own Strings - by Dr. Dyer were great sources of motivation for me when I was going through an uncertain phase of my life.
However over the last decade I have been more drawn towards books which are spiritual and philosophical in content. I am not too much into the self-help books which guide you towards material success and benefits. I was having an opinion that Dr. Dyer's writings also fall into the same category and had not read any of his recent works. I was wrong !
While browsing through this book in a bookshop, I felt it was different from other books of Dr. Dyer which I had read earlier and was more towards my current views. So I bought it (another reason being it was very economically priced at Rs. 99 (approx. $2) !).
The book is divided into 5 parts.
Part I explains the viewpoint that inspiration means being fully awake to the Spirit within us and experiencing joy.
Part II deals with fundamentals of inspiration.
Part III is about giving and receiving inspiration.
Part IV tells how to converse with your spiritual source.
In Part V, Dr. Dyer takes a personal look at inspiration and talks about how life looks to him when he feels inspired.
Influence of Indian philosophy on Dr. Dyer is strongly evident throughout the book as he quotes from Patanjali, Vivekananda, Ramana Maharshi, Sathya Sai Baba and Bhagavad Gita in several places.
On the whole quite a good read though nothing exceptional about it.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Conflict Management in the Workplace

Authors: Shay McConnen;  Margaret McConnen
Published: 2008
Publisher: How To Books Ltd.

This is a very handy book on managing disagreements and conflicts that happen in the workplace. A very well structured book with lots of practical tips on how to develop trust and understanding among the parties involved in conflict. One of the better books on self-improvement books I have read in the recent times and I highly recommend it for all the people managers to read.

It has a very descriptive table of contents which I have reproduced below along with the key takeaways from each chapter. It will give you a good idea about the conflict management approach described in this book.

Introduction

Language for conflict or for cooperation ?
Conflict wastes time and money



1.
How the View Explains our Differences
This chapter recognizes that each of us has our unique window on the world, which is subjective, partial and likely to be distorted. This can explain why we are different from and often difficult for each other.
Key Takeaways:
  • Beware of expecting others to see what you see.
  • Don't argue with perception.
  • Rather than judge behavior, connect with needs.
  • Explore different perspectives for richer solutions.
2. Differences in Personality Types
The reader is introduced to the four basic personality types - Go-Getter, Carer, Analytical, Socializer - and typical sources of tension across the styles. The reader also discovers that strengths can be experienced as weaknesses.
Key Takeaways:
  • Difficult people are usually inflexible people.
  • It is OK to be different, it is not OK to dysfunction.
  • It is as if we are from different planets.

3. Fight the Difference or Celebrate it ?
Is conflict inevitable ? Can conflict be constructive? This chapter suggests that conflict comes more from the management of these differences than from the differences themselves. Understand why rows can spiral out of control.
Key Takeaways:
  • The differences don't have to get in the way.
  • Deal with causes not symptoms.
  • Why do you insist on me seeing what you see, when I don't ?
  • Reduce conflict by recognising the positive intention.
  • While differences explain conflict, it is arrogance that drives it.

4. Are you Building a Bridge or a Barrier ?
Explore the win-win and win-lose mindsets and the consequences of these approaches. Discover the language that fuels conflict and find out how 'you' and 'I' can become 'we'.
Key Takeaways:
  • There is nothing to be gained from attacking the other person and everything to lose.
  • You are OK but others may not see you as OK.
  • If you shoot from the hip, you could end up with a bullet in your foot.
  • Don't expect others to collaborate if you go on the attack.
  • Be partners, rather than opponents.
  • Fight the problem not the person.

5. Understand and Manage your Feelings
This chapter gives some practical ways to defuse your own anger and to manage the feelings of others. Know when to take time out.
Key Takeaways:
  • Unexpressed conflict is still conflict.
  • Anger can severely limit your choices.
  • Anger is fuelled by your thinking, your body and your language.
  • If both of you are yelling, no one is in charge.
  • Validate the feeling to keep rapport.
  • People who say sorry don't always forgive.
  • Listening is key to making the transformation from you against me to us against the problem.

6. Develop your Skills and Increase Your Choices
Discover the three key skills for managing conflict. Learn how to listen acceptingly, talk constructively and negotiate successfully. Also ways to disagree and keep rapport.
Key Takeaways:
  • Develop flexibility if you want to increase effectiveness.
  • Understand first, respond second.
  • Listening is judgment free.
  • 'Yes buts' indicate argument rather than listening.
  • Giving the solution is not always the answer.
  • Take turns in having equal 'air time'.
  • It's a pity we speak the same language, because we don't !
  • Listening gets you into the other person's view.
  • Listening makes a lot of sense.
  • Rather than create a one way street, drive on a communication highway, where ideas and feelings can pass freely in both directions.
  • 'Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.' Robert Benchley
  • Avoid character assassination.
  • Talk to the relevant person, not everyone else.
  • Talk future not past.
  • Your body is doing a lot of the talking!
  • Solution pointing rather than finger pointing.
  • Beware of the quick fix.
  • Agree before you disagree.
  • View objections as unfulfilled needs.
  • Not getting what you want can be a wonderful stroke of luck.
  • The most significant journey of your life may be to meet someone halfway.

7. Four Steps to Resolution
Do you want to manage differences in open and honest ways without conflict or argument ? This four-step model gives you the language and the processing for win-win. The 'steps' will reduce defensiveness, deepen understanding and create collaboration. Learn to deal with power plays.
Key Takeaways:
  • Four- Step Model
    • Step One: Attend to the other person first.
    • Step Two: Explore the need behind the want for both of you.
    • Step Three: Invite the other's solution
    • Step Four: Build for maximum win-win.
  • Beware the 'yes but....'
  • Justify if you want to start an argument, validate if you want to keep rapport.
  • Work on the relationship as well as the problems.
  • You will create conflict if you do not consider the needs of the other person.
  • Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen every day!
  • Ending a relationship can be an assertive option.
  • Different styles for different personalities.
  • Aim to be having a conversation rather than using a formula.
  • Check understanding when necessary. 'So what you are saying is...'
  • A good relationship requires mutual understanding and acceptance, not always agreement.

8. Preventing Conflict
This chapter shows you how to nip conflict in the bud. Discover ways to deal with the irritations and minor tensions rather than let them fester.
Key Takeaways:
  • People usually do the best they can with the resources they have.
  • I see you as wrong. You see me as wrong. We are both right. That's not logical but it is psychological.
  • You are responsible for what you think.
  • You are responsible for what you say.
  • You are responsible for what you do.
  • Silence is not always golden.
  • 'You may not be perfect, neither am I, so we could suit each other admirably.' Alexander Pope
Appendices

The appendices include a questionnaire to help you discover your prefered conflict management style and a collection of other tools to enable you to turn difficult situations around.

There is also a case study showing symptoms of organizational conflict - low morale and a high turnover of staff. The study demonstrates how using the processes and language of the 'steps' enables staffa nd management to listen, understand and work towards a mutual solution.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Naked Leader Experience

Author: David Taylor
Published: 2004
Publisher: Transworld Publishers

This is a sequel to the author's book "The Naked Leader" which I have not read. As per the author , Naked Leadership means "an approach to leadership that strips away the hype, applies the most powerful, proven tools and techniques to real life without any inherent mystery" and apply everything that works into day-to-day realities for most of the people.
The underlying theme in this book is - the fear of failure prevents us from being the best we already are. So in 37 inspirations (i.e. chapters) the author provides tips on how to overcome this fear and fulfill one's dream and ambitions. The tips are well supported by anecdotes, quotes and jokes.

The book has three parts (called books by the author !).

Book One - Reclaim Your Birthright. It is about realizing that you are the best. Titles of some chapters in this part - Long Live Dreams, Are You a Hero or a Trailer ?, The A-Z of Being a Naked Leader ...

Book Two - Reignite Your Relationships. It is about how to truly connect with others. Titles of some chapters in this part - Business Brilliance, Loyalty - Release the Leaders Within, Impress Your Boss !, One Team - One Vision.

Book Three - Reinvent Your Organization. It is about unleashing the potential within you and your team. Titles of some chapters in this part - The Business of Passion, Change Leadership, Your Customers Hate..., Murders and Acquisitions, IT's Time to Deliver

In my opinion Book Three is the best part of the book.

A couple of interesting facts about this book.
The chapters in this book were not written by the in the order they appear in the print. An appendix called "The Author's Journey" lists the order in which the author wrote the chapters. This may help in following author's thought process, however I preferred to read it in a conventional way.
Chapter 15 - How to lose weight , comprises of just three lines. Read the book to find out what it is ! I would rather not give the secret away, since author requests the reader not to do so.

On the whole a very interesting and enjoyable book to read.

Friday, May 8, 2009

You Can Win

Author: Shiv Khera
Published: 1998
Publisher: Macmillan India Ltd.

This book lay idle in my bookshelf for 9 long years, when I finally picked it up to read it. A typical self-help book, written in a very simple and easy to understand language. It consists of eight chapters laying out a step by step approach for
a) building a positive attitude
b) developing winning strategies for success
c) motivating yourself and others
d) building positive positive self-esteem and image
e) building a pleasing personality
f) forming positive habits and character
g) setting and achieving your goals
h) developing values and vision
The book is liberally peppered with inspiring quotes and anecdotes. Layout of the book is also quite pleasing and it is very easy to locate a topic, a quote or an anecdote.
In spite of all the above good points, I am not very impressed with this book. I find it too prescriptive. But it may appeal to readers who prefer this approach.
In fact a reader has been greatly inspired by this book to type it out fully and make it available on the web free. Visit http://www.indiastudychannel.com/resources/10885-You-Can-Win-Shiv-Khera-complete-Book.aspx. I think this is a violation of the copyright, but I am not sure.